Hotsauce hosts a mean party! Friday night he was kind enough to invite us into his home for casuals, and it was a complete success. There were four TVs running SFIV at the same time, with enough tournament sticks to go around. Cake Farts prepared more hot meat than we could handle, and after a quick beer-run I was all settled into to ruin my next-day.

There were about 15 people by my count, and what none of us realized at the time however, was that we had just signed up for a seminar in game balance courtesy of Haypultone. Now we all feel a little bit worse about ourselves for playing such overpowered characters…

Not to be outdone, Smurf did the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in a match, and then showed some really excellent coaching skills by telling Hotsauce how to destroy my Zangief with just four words.

Lots of new people showed up, it’s nice to see the group growing and growing! Also we all got to see a catfight, which makes the party successful by most anyone’s standards.

Thanks for hosting, and I am definitely looking forward to your next one!

I arrived at GrandLan Saturday afternoon with a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. There were storm clouds over the downtown area and lightning licked at the rooftops. My worst fears were confirmed when I entered the darkened building to find that all of their x-boxes were out of order for re-wiring.

They taunted us by declaring it was our fault and that we should call ahead next time before assuming they still offered the use of PCs and x-boxes as advertised, then spit in our faces and charged us full price. HoldySnausages had just beaten me there and so I ordered him to take everyone hostage while I sprung into action. I roared and punched out their front window in anger as I headed to my car.

I raced down narrow side streets in my ’99 Mazda Protege as if the devil himself were not far behind me.  I screeched into my driveway and barely managed to place my vehicle in park before throwing the door open and sprinting to the house. Grabbing my x-box I dashed back to my car and peeled out of the driveway killing a small family of pedestrians instantly. I would mourn them later but for now there was no time.

Two cigarettes and one heart attack later and I was downtown again. My phone was ringing off the hook as confused GrapSF members arrived only to fall into GrandLan’s sinister trap. I double-parked in front of a fire hydrant while blocking in a police car and raced back to the dark heart of the cursed gaming center.

By then Dutch0, Haypultone, and newcomer Aaron were waiting along with HoldySnausages. We attached the mess of wires to the disgusting orifice on the one tiny television we were allowed to use and fired up my x-box for what may be the last time.

Casual matches began awkwardly as the staff of GrandLan decided that each member of their card game would sit in the lap of someone who was there to play Street Fighter, and that somehow a folding table belonged up my asshole. The locals (part of the conspiracy no doubt) then assigned the area between the players and the screen as the designated pathway to the back of the store, which they visited often for no reason. Somewhere in a back room, the staff set fire to a bag of popcorn in either an attempt to smoke us out, or a bizarre sacrifice.

Just then a chorus of angels could be heard and a light pierced the dark smokey room as MegaTplStrength burst through the door with Mabin, D-Money and CakeFarts not far behind. Having sensed an evil presence on this side of the city, something inside him told him to bring his PS3, a crucifix, and holy water as backup.

The staff of GrandLan recoiled and hissed at the prospect of us having another setup, but they regrouped quickly and decided we couldn’t use any more of their TVs. Defeated, MegaTplStrength declared that he would leave his old life behind and would be known as hotsauce from this day forward. When CakeFarts heard the news his fists clenched and he began to glow. Just when we thought his aura would destroy us all he flew straight up through the roof and rocketed across the sky towards the flat-screen TV back at his place.

When he returned we hardened our resolve to find some semblance of normalcy despite the dark will of GrandLan trying to destroy us. We had one x-box setup and, on the opposite side of the building (divide and conquer), a PS3 setup. It was Mabin, D-Money, hotsauce, CakeFarts, Haypultone, HoldySnausages, Dutch0 (who brought:), Aaron, and myself (am I forgetting anyone?). Two other newcomers showed up briefly but then quickly ran away, vomiting in horror at the chaos our meet-up had spiraled into.

G-Boobie, Mr. Baggs, Tru Talon, SmurfTac0s, and Cuban Ace were nowhere to be seen, I presume the staff of GrandLan had them murdered just hours before we were supposed to meet in an attempt to prevent the RanBat that G-Boobie was organizing.

The main highlight of the day, was getting to play at all considering an unknown enemy was pulling strings behind the scenes to stop us…

The second highlight of the day as I remember it, was the revelation that the new challenger Aaron had been sent by someone or something, to kill us using Abel. No one made it out unscathed. I thought I was doing well with Dhalsim for a moment but then he just switched back to using Abel and violated  me in a way that I cannot bear to talk about. He continued to pile up the bodies of anyone who approached a stick or pad.

Also newsworthy is:

• CakeFarts’ (who attended the last session but did not play) debut in the ring with Cammy.
• GrandLan’s copy of Street Fighter is hosed, so we should always provide our own from now on.
• If anyone’s curious, the new wiring setup at GrandLan consists of all the x-boxes being behind the counter, and we only have a USB port by each TV to plug controllers into (apparently latency and inconvenience = good – Keeping track of who they hand games out to in case one goes missing = bad).
• RanBats didn’t happen this time as planned, but G-Boobie will hopefully start them soon, and once they pick up steam we’ll have a backup in place for when he can’t be there.
• HoldySnausages’ huge tattoo of Ken’s Shoryuken.

Thanks to all who made the trip. It was not our best gathering but hey, it makes all the other ones seem a lot better by contrast!

I ended up staying till midnight (my hands hurt) and wondering why we don’t all  stay later. It gets a lot busier later; we could order pizza and generally draw in more casuals. It could be perhaps, that I have no life.

Attendance more than doubled this week. If we can keep that kind of momentum going, we’ll take the fighting game world by storm in no time. Match vids are posted below: take the time to check them out.

The other poor fools at GrandLan had no idea what to make of us this week, folks. The level of excitement (and volume) was well over the proverbial eleven, and the Grapsf.com scene completely took the place over. At the height of the evening, there were three Street Fighter 4 set ups running alongside one set each of BlazBlue and Marvel vs. Capcom 2. With that level of digital violence being committed over and over, it’s no wonder we attracted a crowd of curious spectators.

Match highlights include Slappy putting the hurt on anything that got within striking distance of his brutal and Godless Zangief, Hapyutone showing off an impressive Sagat with his custom built arcade stick stand/TV dinner tray hybrid, and a mysterious gentleman known only as “the Professor” emerging from New York’s Chinatown Fair to rape everyone in sight at Marvel vs. Capcom 2, including yours truly. Not even my super team of “Phoenix Sun Akuma, Banana Ken and the “Michigan Wolverine” Iron Man”, to quote Chauncy Talon, could make an impact . Hopefully we’ll see more of the Professor, if only because he’s the only guy who can consistently beat Chauncy “Banana Ken” Talon at his own game. It’s Mahvel, Bay-bee. No autographs, please.

MrBaggs showed the rest of us up at BlazBlue, using Ragna and the occasional Jin (with Ice Car in tow), losing only to my Arakune’s secret “mash buttons until you pass out” technique. My Taokaka simply wasn’t up to the task: she’s apparently allergic to ridiculously sized magical swords. This is unfortunate, since that’s what MrBaggs had to offer her. No catnip, no rubber mice. Only pain.

At one point I looked up to see no less than four people playing Sagat at once, which is exactly like a recurring nightmare I have.

The best thing about these meet ups isn’t just playing the games we love face to face with other people: it’s the sense of community and learning that comes along with it. For example, I learned that playing the darkly mysterious Professor in MvC2 inevitably leads to serious rape. That’s an important thing to know. Something else I learned though, is how to trigger individual supers and specials in that game, because after he’d pounded me for the forty fifth time, the Professor took time out of playing to help me learn to play it better. That’s something that a real community does for it’s members, and I for one am grateful to be a member of just such a community.

The next meeting is September 12th at the fortress of  Grapsf.com overlord Slappy who has graciously opened his home to us. Bring something to share, bring your A game, and bring your hype.

Our first public gathering took place on August 15th, 2009, at GrandLan in downtown Grand Rapids, and was a success by anyone’s measure. Matches were played, rivalries were formed, and Dan Hibiki signed more autographs in Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 that this author is personally comfortable with… especially considering that my Magneto didn’t actually want one, let alone ten. Thanks Chauncy, but remember in the future: no means no, even for eight by ten glossies.

The assembled crew included Slappy, Chauncy Talon, MrBaggs, Singe, G-Boobie (that’s me), and even a few casual players drawn in by the sound of pure, uncut hype. Street Fighter IV was the game of the day, but Singe laid down the law in King of Fighters XII, Chauncy signed autographs and beat people up in Marvel vs. Capcom 2, and MrBaggs showed us how to play Blazblue. In Street Fighter, Slappy showed me the terrible power of a Zangief in the hands of someone who knows how to use him, while Chauncy’s Sagat learned the power of the wild courtesy of my Blanka. And Singe? Singe proved that he is, indeed, the proto shoto by picking one in every game he touched… Even Marvel.

The best part of the day was putting a stick in the hands of someone who showed up to play WoW, but was compelled to play Marvel with us, presumably based on the difference between our relative volume levels. “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em”. Chauncy, Singe, and MrBaggs did an excellent job showing our new friend the ropes, and hopefully we’ll see him at future events as a result. That’s true passion for the game, and I salute you guys for it.

Our next event is scheduled for one PM on August 29th, at GrandLan in downtown GR. Bring your stick, bring your hype, and most importantly, bring your friends. We want this community to flourish. Games are all on 360 at GrandLan, so if you need to borrow a stick, we can work something out.  Games on the 2D menu include Street Fighter IV, Marvel vs. Capcom 2, King of Fighters XII, and Blazblue, but let us not forget our friend the third dimension: there will be Virtua Fighter 5 and Soul Calibur 4 to satisfy participants with a desire for eight way run. It’s fun, it’s free (I’ll be handling the hourly rate for anyone who can’t cover it this week), and it’s only getting bigger.